Tuesday, May 18, 2010


It's a curious thing, the choices we make about our lives, and how we choose to reveal them.  I for one strive to be very private, which makes the choice to start this blog somewhat strange and uncharted territory for me.  I struggle with topics and content because I am not sure exactly how much you, the reader, should know or even want to know.

I am not so self absorbed to think that anyone cares much about my choices or beliefs, but it occurred to me that maybe it isn't my beliefs or choices that matter, but maybe I am just someone who can give some of you the courage or comfort that you are not wrong.

I was raised Catholic, and in a bit of a cliche dysfunctional family.  My Father worked, my Mother bitched.  Being an only child led to an entitled but lonely childhood, and fostered the sense that I never truly fit in anywhere. That isn't to say I was abused, or not hugged enough etc etc.  It simply enabled me to think more clearly and strongly about what I wanted and desired.  I never had the basis of comparison that someone with siblings have or a partner to fight the tyranny of parental units with.

Instead, I became a brooder.  Silently and with purpose I brood and think and rationalize.  It became habit to keep those thoughts and feelings locked away, so much so that even my true friends don't really know if I am happy or not.  Through the years I have started on a path of self realization, attempting and focusing change on my life and who I am.

Until recently I have always believed that this is a mind over matter exercise.  But the more I try to shape and mold my life to conform, the more unhappy I am.  This post has taken on a life of its own, this isn't intended to be the simpering rantings of a confused woman.  More to the point this is the gate to deeper understanding.  I want to tell you, go with your instincts personally, professionally and even sexually. 

Sunday, May 16, 2010

There and Back Again

Today I was having a discussion with a friend of mine and we discussed how sexual expectations are gender specific.  His position was that was clearly drivel and of course its not general specific in expectation, content or otherwise.  I pondered this conjecture for awhile as it has always been my position that sex is not created equal based on gender and found this belief has been reinforced even further with this discussion.

Society as a whole looks at sexuality with a myopic view in my opinion.  Generally speaking it is expected there will be a dominant partner who lays claim to the variety, frequency and necessity of the act of sex.  This theory applies to many aspect of life, and I'm not  clear whether it is dependent upon social proclivity or if it is simply genetically fated to happen.

That being said, this dominant figure, based on a public belief system where the determining factor is in fact a gender based role.  I have done a fair amount of reading on sexual roles with both historical and modern perspectives and have found that the public "consensus" very much stays the same throughout the ages.  The one thing that is lacking is the focus on the simple act.  It is my position that a person's role in a relationship is more linked to what they find acceptable than one they assert due to what body parts you poses.

An example would be a person who is strong, successful and driven generally speaking is deferred to by the less dominant companion in a relationship.  It just so happens that for a very long time the male society has been deemed the provider, the master of his home or soldier of fortune.  I submit that sexual roles are very much driven by society or the moral collective than by the true primitive part of our psyche.

Apply this thought to you as you read this, in an intimate situation your partner asks what you want or desire;  The normal human response is to consider what you might enjoy based on what you know about your partner.  Very few of us take the true course and declare exactly what we want without consideration of the others needs or desires.   Many, due to religion, familial morality or genuine ignorance take the safe route.

Expressing needs or desire is a human condition, and ultimately more satisfying than a compromised liaison with a partner. Now don't this logic to the extreme while your needs and desires might state that you like to see the lines of a crop exposed on fresh pink skin that doesn't mean that it is always appropriate.  You do however for the sake of true intimacy need to express your desires and listen to whomever you are with to achieve true intimacy.

I am seeing more and more people awakening to the realization of sexuality.  The US in general is very repressed in their acceptance of desires outside of the norm.  Anything other than missionary is considered pornography by the masses thereby enforcing the "nice girls don't do this" ideology.  The "nice boys don't do this" phrase pertains more to fidelity, truthfulness and basic morals.

This is a lengthy conversation of course, but by in large the talking points come down to the things I've addressed above. Everyone, man or woman need to come to terms with desire and learn tolerance and honesty about the unappealing based on who they are not just based on what is socially acceptable.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Spring is in the air....

In my effort to adhere to self discipline I will be posting during transition just as if I had some relevant provocative comment that needs to be debated.  While I realize this content will be somewhat boring to some, it is in fact an exercise in discipline and forethought for coming installments.

That said, I did happen to catch an interview featuring Dita Von Teese which I found very insightful of her personality outside of being able to wiggle in a martini glass.  I don't think I'm alone in saying she is a remarkable spokesperson for the true burlesque performers.  She has the air of a woman who is secure with herself as well as conducting herself with great class and style.

To me, outside the obvious resemblance from days gone by she is the epitome of grace.  I could only wish that I could appear as put together as she does on a daily basis.  Aside from the obvious gorgeous persona, she also sets an example for many young women to show that there can be substance, beauty, as well as being honest about what intrigues us that may lie outside the society norm of what is acceptable.

I must admit I've always had a fascination with the Pin-up Girl genre, to me there is nothing tawdry or cheap in their art.  The point of art to me is to be disseminated  to the masses that would not normally have access or inclination to be exposed to a point of view.  The medium of that time was calendars and the like, and I believe these beautiful strong women who were very daring for their time with their expression of art are people to be admired.

It saddens me that it was turned into a cheap mockery absolving their actions of empowerment to being segregated to a mechanic's wall.  There of course is the obvious "cheesecake" perversion in the photos, however I believe that there are many people out there who feel the female body can be erotic as well as beautiful and certainly should be admired.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Interesting Challenge

Hello boys and girls,

This blog is in an evolutionary stage, meaning, I am jumping through the virtual hoops of a predefined template as I set this up and get myself in a position for all of you to give your due.

The level of depraved anonymity that one can achieve on the web is miraculous, and also a great opportunity for exploration on many levels.  My primary reason and purpose for this blog is to invite frank and creative conversation on all things considered taboo in polite society.
That does not mean that trash or simply boring vulgar conversation will commence.  In fact, I plan to regulate that as closely as I would a pet of mine with a firm hand and in this case a sound whack with an internet crop.  Do not mistake this space for mundane perversion, how boring.

I would expect that none of my readers would be interested in petty perversion, simple vulgarity or the fumbling of a neophyte looking for hot chat.  We will deal with real experience, shared fantasy and frank conversation to help the curious, evolved or established submissive who needs to learn insight on these matters.

With that said, I shall return to my work and diligently bring you insight and mind numbing awe with the changes I plan to implement.

Until then my precious little pets, adieu